Every writer dreads that first rejection letter.  I dreaded for it so long I was actually scared to send my work out.  What if I wasn't good enough?  What if they said I should just give up?  What if the editors and publishers were all sitting around laughing about the horrendous piece of wanna be fiction I sent into them?  I didn't even want to send my work into a contest because I was terrified of the embarrassment of not winning.  I let my fear of rejection hold me back.  I've been writing for a long, long time, but only just recently have I started submitting my work to competitions, or online Zines.  Only recently have I started reaching out to online magazines, blogs, and other such things and saying, "Hey I'd like to do that!"

Some of them didn't get back to me, and some of them did.  Most recently I've joined as a regular contributor to Searching For Superwomen: Geek Girls Getting Loud.  The people over there are superbly spectacular, so if you haven't given the site a shout, go for it.  The writers love to hear your opinion, thoughts, and otherwise awesome things.

I've only succeeded at winning one competition, which was the Kick Butt First Line Competition by Jaime Rush.  I actually won first and third place, but this was a few years ago, so my entries are no longer visible.  It was still pretty awesome.  I printed the page, pasted it in my journal, and for a brief moment, I reverted back to a giddy teenager, squealing and showing it off.

This prestigious and first time win still really wasn't enough to give me the confidence to send in a full short story.  It's one line!  Crafting and weaving a single sentence is much different than doing the same for a story.  When another competition rolled around, I believe it was for Writer's Digest, my husband said something that made me realize, that putting myself out there, wasn't the monumental embarrassing experience I thought it might be.

"They only announce the winners. They don't point out the losers and say YOU SUCK!"

I laughed, I submitted my work to a competition, and I didn't even make the top ten.  I've submitted to several competitions and never won.  I've also never had to worry about receiving a rejection letter from them. 

Even more recently, I submitted a short story to a few magazines for the first time.  While I was on vacation, I received my very first rejection letter.  It wasn't long.  It didn't offer me any pointers on how to make the piece better, but it also didn't say it was bad.  It said the story wasn't for them, and best of luck finding a home for it.  

My first rejection letter via email while on vacation.  It maybe should have been a downer, but I was really more excited about it.  I was smiling ear to ear.  My nerdy other, while always supportive of my writing and wanting to pursue this avenue, was a bit confused as to why I was so happy.  It took me a minute to realize it as well - and by minute I mean about a week because I wasn't trying to ponder this phenomenon while in the middle of getting ready to go out on another adventure during our vacation.

So, I put the rejection letter in the back of my mind, we went and continued on our vacation (a post for another time) and didn't look at it again until about two days ago.  By this time I was home, and just about caught up with everything I needed to be, and so could actually take the time to sit down and reflect on why, when looking at this rejection letter, I couldn't help but grin - even a week later.

This is the reason.  For better or worse, whether people like my writing or not - I am on the path of a writer.   Rejections are part of the writing life.  I took a chance, and honestly, I knew it was going to be rejected.  I'm not the lucky type who has things go right the first time, but that's okay.  I'm a fighter, and one rejection letter doesn't mean I suck as a writer.  It means - like many before me - I'm taking the first steps to achieving my dream.

Thesignificant other and I have been looking forward to this vacation for months.  It started off without a hitch, but there have been a few hiccups along the way. Friday morning we got up at 5am.  I'm so not a morning person, at all.   On top of that I hate to fly - loathe it, detest it, and I was not looking forward to it.  The process of getting through airport security was fairly easy that early in the morning.  No crazy long lines, but we were X-Rayed.  That was like....okay then. It's been about three years since I've been on a plane and there were no x-ray machines back then.  Everything went smooth, we're there hella early, get some breakfast and of course I snap a photo.

It's a fuzzy hat!!!

Plane leaves early, I almost break the nerdy others hand on take off.  It wasn't that long, we in Charlotte, NC for our layover, again, wasn't long.  However, they changed the gate and didn't tell us.  Woops!  We still made our flight.  The second one was not as comfortable as the first.  They didn't pressurize the cabin right and our ears were screaming at us.  When we arrived in Newark, we had to circle the airport for an extra thirty minutes because apparently there was a traffic jam in the air.  So first flight - even though I was terrified - not as bad as the second flight.  I was more than ecstatic to be on the ground again. I'm a land lover and a boat girl - I'm not a big fan of the wide open skies.

Photo bomb on the layover!  The hubby was not prepared for this picture.  Once we landed we got to take a tram to the rental car place.  THAT WAS AWESOME!  I enjoyed riding the train.  It was high up, so I got a great view of the city we had just come into.

When we arrive at the rental car place - they tell us we didn't pay for the car.  Uh yes we did.  The hell?! Of course we reserved the car four months ago, and the app for my bank on my phone didn't go back that far.  So we paid - AGAIN.  This part is to be continued.

We drive the now twice paid for rental car to the hotel, check in no problems.  At least they had records that we paid for the room in advance. They have a Dunkin' Donuts attached the hotel - I go for coffee.  We walk back around front to get the car and drive around.  They have a stone walkway - it's raining.  I step on the stone and my flip flops have zilch for traction.  I felt myself about to take a bad tumble, there's not catching my balance.  In an attempt to keep from going to the hospital on my first day of vacation, I drop to one knee. My foot slides out behind me and I completely hyper-extend the tendon.  It's sore at first, but not so bad that I need medical attention.

The room is very nice, king bed, microwave, fridge, and it's comfortable.  We unpack and I fire up the laptop, hook up to the wifi and go straight to the records for my bank account.  Car rental hiccup continued.  The car was paid for in April.  Rental car place receives a call.  Here's the scenario:

B calls and makes the reservation.  Pays for the car.  There was a hiccup on their end.  They made two reservations for him.  Same person, same dates.  One was paid for - the other wasn't.  The confirmation they gave us was the one for the not paid car.  It seemed weird to both of us, but they offered to give us our money back right away.  However, since it's Friday night and it take's one to two business days we won't have the money back till Monday or Tuesday.  That's fine, we've got enough cash to cover us in the mean time.

With that being taken care of, we get dressed and head out to meet some of B's friends from his old stomping grounds.  Eating, dancing, and drinking ensued.  I'd only met one of the girls before, but we all clicked well together and had a good night.

My favorite pic of the night.

The weekend has been a lot of visiting, seeing where my hubby grew up and just having a good time. However when I woke up Saturday morning my foot was jacked up.  The alcohol seemed to have numbed the pain, or I just danced too much and aggravated a new injury.  We stop at a Rite Aid.  A freakin' Rite Aid!  If you live in Florida, you know these stores don't exist there anymore.  They haven't for quite a long time.  As soon as I hobbled my broke footed butt in there, the smell of a Rite Aid hit me and I remembered that place like I'd been in there yesterday.

Just holy crap!!!

I'm enjoying the atmosphere of South Jersey.  The pine barrens are beautiful, the people are epic, and there's a massive sense of community up here that doesn't happen in the city.  In some aspects it feels like we've been transported back a few decades with all the mom and pop shops, Victorian houses, and having attendants pump the gas for your car.

I will say, the one thing that annoys the bejesus out of me is the fact that - for whatever reason - this area of Jersey does not believe in left hand turns.  You have to veer off to the right, make a giant u-turn and then go straight.  It's very strange.

There have been several more hiccups as well - including a waitress destroying the hubby's phone.  Yeah, they didn't even comp the meal.  Real nice place - due note the sarcasm. Dinner wound up costing us $200 because we had to buy him a new phone. We're not letting the hiccups get us down though.  We're going to Philly tomorrow.

Hellz to the yeah!  I've never been there so I'm somewhat ever flippin excited! :D

Edit:  I was reminded of another hiccup that I can't believe I forgot.  When we all got ready to go out - the three girls in the pic who aren't me - went to back out from their house.  Wouldn't you just know it - they got into a car accident.  Yup, backed up the big blue beast into a car as he turned the corner.  To be honest, that isn't the best place to put a parking lot.  It wasn't a bad accident - minor in comparison and luckily it was a neighbor, so they just exchanged insurance.  This was before we went to the bar.  Yup, it was just one of those days.

I was so excited for Supercon (see a few posts below).  The line up was completely epic, and I knew it was going to be packed, so I bought my tickets weeks in advanced, figuring that they would have sold out - which they should have.  We obtained weekend passes, and after almost blinding myself with fake eyelash glue (it was my first time trying that stuff, and I have no idea how people do it on a daily basis) and getting all costumed up, we headed out on Saturday.  We got there at about 11:30am.  Parking was full, and they wound up sending us to The Park and Fly to be shuttled over instead.  My brother was about five minutes behind us time wise.  We got parking - he didn't.  They had no idea where to send people after that, and my brother was so fed up, he just left. I couldn't blame him.  Parking just in itself was a mess.  It took us an hour and a half to get parking, get shuttled, and get inside.  I barely made the first writing seminar.  The line was around the building for people who still needed to buy tickets.  Many of the volunteers were highly rude, screaming at people, and just being nasty.

The writing seminar was an hour long - and about the only thing I enjoyed.  We went down the escalator, and and just got slammed into a wall of people. They were screaming at us to keep moving, but there so no where to move!  People were packed like sardines in a double stuffed  can.  There was elbowing, shoving, strollers blocking aisles, and we couldn't get to half the booths.  Forget trying to sit for the Q&A's.  There were people holding seats since the doors opened at 10am.  The place was way over max capacity.  We only stayed for two hours the first day and then we dipped out, because it was just ridiculous.

We returned Sunday.  Not nearly as crammed. George Takei was the big celebrity on Saturday and he drew a massive crowd.  The Miami  Convention center was not prepared.  So, we're cool with Sunday, but both my husband and friend are sore and hurting from the impromptu mosh-pit from yesterday.  We decide to start walking around to see the booths, vendors, and media guests.

I was giddy meeting Billy Yost from the Power Rangers.  He wants $10 for a picture. Every celebrity there wanted cash for me to snap a photo with my camera.  Not a professional photo shoot, but just a quick snap.  I was not amused.

When I went up to Adam Baldwin's booth his agent told me that we couldn't even take a photo with him unless it was at the professional photo shoot.  Maybe this is the norm for things like Comic Con, but Supercon was not like this last year.  Everyone was personable, awesome, and sure you had to buy an autograph, but they were appreciative that fans came to see them and were all to happy to take a photo.

Last year, I went to Supercon and everyone was wonderful  I met Michael Hogan at the Cosplay Con at the same Convention Center a few months after Supercon last year.  Michael Hogan (Saul Tigh from Battlestar Galactica) was there. That man was awesome!  He pulled me right up, put his arms around me and was like, "Go on take a picture of us!"  He was so personable, so nice, and of course I forgot the memory card for my camera, so the picture was forever lost in ether.

This guy right here is AWESOME both on and off the screen.

It's not cheap to buy tickets for Con's in the first place - especially for people like me who have been the only source of income for their family for the last two years.  It was something I was looking forward to for weeks! Between work, school, bills, and having only pennies left over, something like Supercon is rare for me to be able to attend.  Overcapacity building, rude volunteers, impersonal media guests, everyone sore from trying to just walk through the crowd the day before - it just wasn't fun.  Needless to say, we didn't stay the entire day.  It was a disaster and a disappointment.  I'm sure those with deeper pockets than me enjoyed it, but this year, they didn't make it easy for the average waged household to have a good time.

Please ignore the butt sniffing dogs in the back.

My fantastic, awesome, brilliant husband had his boards to become certified in Nuclear Med Tech.  He graduated from school this past Friday.  I wasn't allowed to tell him he was going to do great and pass.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Nervous Husband:  "Babe, these boards have got me nervous as hell."









Me:  "That's normal, but I have faith in you.  You're going to do awesome, you're going to pass, and no matter what I'm going to be proud of you."

Nervous Husband:  "Don't say that!"

Me:  "......   Don't say I have faith in you and that you're going to pass?"

Nervous Husband:  "Exactly, because if you keep saying that and I fail, I'm going to feel like shit."
 
Me (Long pause, awkward look): "Did you miss the part of no matter what I'm going to be proud of you?"

Nervous Husband: "Everyone is saying they know I'm going to pass.  If I fail, I'm going to let everyone down.  It's a lot of pressure!"

Hence, for the last few days, I did not tell him he was going to pass his boards.  I didn't bring it up or touch the subject.  I was quietly supportive, letting him study, random hugging and snuggling, pinching of the butt, etc.  just to make him smile.  He took his boards today.  Last night, he was freaking out, studying like crazy and in full blown panic mode.  I listened to him vent, then awkwardly laughed.

Me:  "I don't know what to say babe.  I'm not allowed to support you because it's too much pressure."

Panic Stricken Husband (Laughs himself):  "Yeah, I know, I just want it be over."

Me (Kisses him): "It will be soon enough.  Just remember to breathe."

Well soon enough is now over.  The hubby had his boards early this morning, and wouldn't you know it.

HE PASSED!!!!

Congratulations, lots of praise, and then I got to say:

Me:  "I told you so, I told you so!"

Ecstatically Happy Husband: "...... Shut up!"

Me:  *insert evil cackle here*

I am so proud of my husband!  He is officially certified as a Nuclear Med Tech.  He gets all the paperwork in about three weeks.  Well, he's certified for the state.  Tomorrow he has to take his National Boards, but like I told him before, I have faith.  He has spent two years working his off and it's finally paying off.  That's right, I'm married to a sexy, faithful, honorable, though sometimes highly annoying, Nuclear Med Tech.

That's right, you know you're jealous!